I’m not sure if it’s because it’s now expected of me, or if I just assume I cannot complete this task correctly, but I rarely make grilled cheese sandwiches without burning one side. And burning one side is actually progress, from my point of view, because early in my cooking career I would regularly burn BOTH sides of the grilled cheese sandwich. Being the child of my father, I never waste food, so would dutifully scrape as much of the burnt bread as possible into the sink, and we’d eat the sandwiches. Of course, I’d place them on the plate with the least-burnt-side down, decorated with a few potato chips, but I’m pretty sure no one fell for that ploy.
After a while I wondered if I burned the sandwiches in passive aggressive fashion, so I could give that “chore” over to my husband. If I continued to ruin that meal time after time, wouldn’t he just say “oh for heaven’s sake, just let me do that”? He being a smart man, that never happened. Nowadays I love to cook, and real food – not just grilled cheese sandwiches. I just think the sandwiches get ignored now because they’re easy, no fuss, I can do something else while grilling sandwiches, right?! Some folks may have that option; I apparently do not.
I accept this shortcoming of mine, but often wonder about myself and others in performing daily tasks at home or on the job. Do we deliberately sabotage ourselves because we’re afraid of the responsibility that success may bring? Do we fail so we can say “I told you so”? Do we mess up so we can sit in our comfort zone without the risk of reaching the next level of success? I hope not, but sometimes it feels that way.
What do you think?